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Being in an abusive relationship

Outline of two people holding hands with words that describe the two sides of an abusive relationshipIllustration: Alice Kingsley - Cambridge Regional College

When you started going out with your current partner everything was great but just recently you have noticed a change. Your partner has started to get very controlling about what you do in your spare time and who you see.† At first you put this down to your partner wanting to spend more time with you but itís beginning to make you unhappy when you are on your own and thinking about it. Then your partner will turn up and be very loving which makes you feel everything is OK after all.

What do you do next?

  • Decide to leave it for a while to see if things improve
  • See a counsellor about it
  • Break up with your partner before you get in any deeper

Read on to find out which of these options you should or shouldnít takeÖÖ.


Decide to leave it for a while to see if things improve

Issues and problems tend to get worse if they are not dealt with so this isnít the best option. Also if someone is trying to control you it gets harder to break out of it the longer you leave it so itís best to try and do something rather than leave it and hope it will go away.


See a counsellor about it

This isnít a bad option if the abuse isnít too serious and itís not effecting you too much but remember Itís not you thatís the problem!! SoÖ. while a counselor might be able help you work out what to do the problem itís not going to stop the abuse. It might be helpful if both of you could see a counselor together to try to work through your partnerís issues.


Break up with your partner before you get in any deeper

Although this might sound drastic it might be the best course of action in the long run.† You might not want to do this because your partner may have convinced you that itís your fault or you might be hanging on to the hope that he/she will change but if you are being treated in a way that hurts you or makes you feel uncomfortable you need to ask yourself if that is what you really want from a relationship.†


Remember: You donít deserve to be abused in any way so donít put up with it.

Check out our page on relationship abuse for more information and advice.

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